Ten Times Around The Sun Without Carl

20 December 2006

Dear Friends of Carl Sagan,

Chances are, if you have come here to join me in an act of remembrance on this tenth anniversary of Carl’s death, you are already well aware of the numerous scientific and cultural achievements of the man. It is likely that you know he played a leading role in the exploration of our solar system, that he added to our knowledge of the atmospheres of Venus, Mars and the Earth, that he opened the way to new branches of scientific investigation, that he attracted more people to the scientific enterprise than perhaps any other human being and that he was a conscientious citizen of both the Earth and the cosmos. Maybe you are one of the many who were nudged into a different life trajectory by the gravitational pull of something he said or wrote or dreamt. In my biased estimation, he was a world historical figure who beckoned us to leave the geocentric, narcissistic, “supernatural” spirituality of our childhood behind and to embrace the vastness – to come of age by taking the revelations of the modern scientific revolution to heart.

Today, I want to share with you some things about Carl that are not as well known, moments that have more to do with his goodness than with his greatness. These are recollections that have come to me throughout the past ten years. I offer them to you because these memories make me feel so impossibly fortunate and because I want this personal Carl to live on, as well.

I see him striding off the gangplank of a Circle Line tour boat on an exquisite June day, about a week after we had declared our love to each other. Somehow, we decided that circumnavigating the inspiring towers of Manhattan would be the ideal setting in which to plan our lives together. As we disembark, after mapping out the journey that the next two decades would fulfill and exceed, I glance back towards him and I see that dazzling smile. He takes the sweater that had been casually tied around his neck and he throws it high up in the air in a gesture of exultation. For a moment the blue sweater hangs there against the blue sky and our eyes meet.

I see him putting his napkin aside and getting up from the table countless times in restaurants all over the planet to properly greet yet another person who wants to thank him for “giving me the cosmos.”

I see us riding around the Ithaca countryside at dusk with seven-year-old Nick Sagan. The top is down on Carl’s little orange sports car. He has adopted the mythic persona that would later become a favorite of Sasha and Sam’s, too, the “Freenie,” a visitor from Ganymede, a moon of Jupiter. The Freenie has all sorts of arcane information about the outer solar system but he is absolutely clueless about how things work here on Earth. I recall our children savoring the heady, novel pleasure of being able to set an adult straight and possibly grasping for the first time a radical notion -- that the way things are done here and now, is not an immutable, universal constant.

I see Carl lying on the living room floor, holding one-year-old Sasha high above him and moving her this way and that as he cries “Unidentified Flying Baby!” and she giggles with delight, always wanting more.

I see him walking with two-year-old Sam in the small forest near our house. Sam spies something on the ground and toddles over to retrieve it. He then solemnly presents this special twig in the shape of a “y” to Carl and Carl carries it with him for the rest of his life.

I hold the magical little “y” twig in my hand. Ten long trips around the sun since I last saw that smile, but only joy and thankfulness that on a tiny world in the vastness, for a couple of moments in the immensity of time, we were one.

Ann Druyan
Ithaca, N.Y.

Comments

[Tom]

It's hard to say how grateful I am for these shared insights, Ann. I haven't the words -- or I have too many words -- to convey the range of emotions that accompany this anniversary. Let me leave it at this then: though I never met Carl, I felt and still feel I lost a dear friend.

I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. Thank you.

[Kevin]

It is hard to believe that it has been ten long years. He is still missed by us all, and perhaps more than ever now.

I have made a humble attempt to participate in the memorial blog-a-thon on my site.

[Pam]

I want to express how wonderful it has been working with Ann and her family for over five years now. Learning how wonderful Carl was as not only an educator but as a husband, father and a friend. It has never been a bigger pleasure to come to work every day. To see the joy and happiness that Carl still brings today from all around the world.

[Pablo fernandez]

¿cuanto necesitamos la luz de Carl en estos momentos oscuros?. Espero que tengamos en cuenta su sabiduria a la hora de gestionar el mundo
Un beso desde los lagos del Sur del sur del mundo
Dr Pablo Fernandez
Medico Veterinario
Ex Docente Universitario UBA.
Bariloche Patagonia Argentina
ciencia-en-peligro.blogspot.com
Ex Asesor Cientifico de la Sociedad Rousell UCLAF Francia en la Argentina
Veterinario independiente y divulgador cientifico en los ratos libres

[Chris]

Ann,

Thank you so much for these small windows into your life with Carl.

As I wrote in comments on Nick's blog, Carl WAS the gravitational influence that set my life on its trajectory. I have become an astronomer, and a teacher, as a direct result of Carl's influence.

I, like you and so many others, will regret his absence today among all others. But he would want us to look forward. Not to abandon our memories, but to look to the future, and take what he gave us into the future.

[Lisa W.]

Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. Thinking of him today.

[Phil Smith]

What a lovely tribute. And what a neat photo.

[bonnie-ann black]

ms. druyan: just wanted to let you know that i miss Carl Sagan's presence in the world. i have posted a tribute to him on my art website.

[Axinar]

We miss him too.

Although somehow I think ...

Not quite so much as you.

Thanks for sharing so much with us.

[timothy gormley]

A treasure has been lost but his beautiful ideas are immortal.

I shall introduce my young children to the Freenie tonight.

[Dave Schlom]

Hello my friends.

Ann -- your essay was beautiful -- as are you. I am so glad that you and Carl found each other and have those wonderful children to raise and cherish. Sam and Sasha (and Nick!) are in my thoughts today as I contemplate what it means to be a Dad. My own kids are so precious to me. Thinking about how hard this day must be on all of you -- it just inspires me to be the best person and Dad that I can possibly be. Your essay was about the person you loved and the goodness inside of him. Carl may have inspired me as a scientist but Ann -- you inspire me as a human being to fight for what I believe in and love all that is good on our pale blue dot. If I could wish for one thing this holiday season, it is that the Carl Sagan--Ann Druyan family has the love and happiness they so deserve. I choose to celebrate Dr. Sagan's wonderful life -- one full of professional success and personal fulfillment. Now I am going to call my little sister and tell her that I love her because it's her birthday!

Peace and Love
Dave Schlom

[Rich Blundell]

Dear Ann - Thank you for sharing these wonderful personal memories.

That millions of us can so vividly see (and feel) them is testament not only to Carl's impact, but also to your willingness and talent for sharing them.

I for one was more than nudged in trajectory by what Carl Sagan taught. And those of us devoted to continuing to communicate the messages, find great inspiration in both of your efforts. In such a seemingly backward world, we need all the inspiration we can get. Tonight, when the sky is dark and the stars bright, I'll put what he taught me into practice; pausing for a few extra moments to reflect on the life of Carl Sagan in the smudge of light called the Orion Nebula.

Thank you.

PS - I think I speak for "all of us" when I say please "so don't stop."

[Sam Harrelson]

Thank you, Ann. I've got my DVD of Cosmos playing in the background all day and it has been a joy to look back and realize how that project along with Pale Blue Dot saved my life and led me to become a scientist and a teacher.

Thank you for sharing your husband and these memories with humanity and the rest of the Cosmos.

[Bryan Erickson]

I was seven years old when the Cosmos miniseries first aired and filled me with a sense of the sheer magic of the universe and the magic of our capacity to explore its secrets. That was the single most formative event of my childhood, nudging me not only toward a later degree in physics and astronomy, but to a lifelong ideal of wonder and hope in humanity and the exuberant beauty of the universe we find ourselves in.

Thanks so much, Ann, for a few very personal snapshots of your life with Carl. Amid your grief, you have at least the sympathy of many.

My children have gotten a thrill out of watching the Cosmos DVD set with me. Among them and many others, Carl's wisdom will resound for a very long time to come.

[Ed Marker]

To this day I still carry a copy of "Broca's Brain" with me. Thanks to Dr. Sagan, I am quite comfortable with most of my personal religious and political beliefs. I owe him an immense debt of gratitude. Sadly as I read his works today, I am overcome by sadness as I realize we need him now more than ever.

[Richard Russ]

Thank you so much Carl! I wish so much I could have met you. You made such a difference in my life with your clarity and understanding of the Cosmos. Your understanding of the Cosmos was far beyond your time. Thank you! When no one else would, you spoke for Earth!

[Dennis Smith]

I can only echo the thanks already given for sharing these little glimpses into Carl's life.

An inscription on a grave marker in the cemetery in Dayton, OH, near where the Wright brothers are buried was brought to mind, it read "To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die." Carl will live on for a very long time.

Every time I hear the word "Cosmos", I see Carl's smiling face and feel the awe and wonder he found in that cosmos.

[leon]

I would simply like to say Thank You.

For your thoughts, your memories and your insights into the man Carl Sagan...

[Christian]

Ann, I felt and still feel I lost a dear friend, like wrote Tom above.
Many thanks to you and Carl for all !!
Siempre resuenan en mi mente muchas de las palabras, frases e historias que Carl contó o escribió, y trato siempre de compartirlas con mi pequeña hija, a quién espero contagiar el amor por la ciencia y la humanidad.
Gracias Ann!
Saludos desde Argentina.
Christian

[ChivaCongelado]

Thank you for sharing your memories, thoughts, insights and experiences with Carl. For whatever's worth, my best wishes are with you and the rest of the family.

Carl, thank you for opening our eyes.

[David Beaton]

I cant begin to express how important Cosmos, and Carl Sagan was to me in my formative years. The beauty that was Cosmos inspired me, and changed my whole outlook on life. The beauty of the images, the music and the words. It truly is an unforgettable experience. Today, on this painful anniversary I began to watch the Cosmos DVDs in my own tribute. One day my own children will be old enough to watch and appreciate Cosmos. I can't wait to see their faces as the wonders are revealed to them by Carl Sagan. Good luck, Ann.

[Lisa B-K]

I was in eighth grade when Cosmos was on PBS the first time. My parents felt it was a cultural event of huge importance - this amazing scientist with radical views was going to be on teevee! - and so we watched it every week. Cosmos, and Carl Sagan, made science fascinating and accessible.

One of the best holiday gifts I ever received from my husband was the Cosmos DVD set a few years ago. We get it out and watch the whole thing every year this time of year - my 14 year-old and 8 year-old adore these videos. His influence continues.

Thank you for giving us snapshots your life with Mr. Sagan. What terrific manners he had! What an attitude toward living he possessed! What a wonderful life you shared! He seemed like a genuinely Good Guy in addition to being a Great Guy.

Peace to you.

[Dawn]

10 years ago I sat and cried for the loss of my hero as I do tonight. As I posted in your son's blog Carl was a role model for me. He gave me hope in humanity and assured me that we had a place in the universe if we only would gaze at the stars in wonder and not fear. No words can truly express the joy I have for having lived in the time of your husband. And no words can express the appreciation I have for you. Being married I understand true love and partnership. I know that Carl was a strong and brilliant person, the likes of which this world does not often see. But I also know that he was most likely a better human, a better husband, a better father and a better role model for so many of us because of you.

Thank you Ann for carrying on his legacy. Thank you for continuing both his and your work. Thank you Ann for being the other half of my personal role model and hero. I failed in meeting Dr. Sagan and personally expressing to him what his life and teachings have meant to me. I will not make that mistake twice.

Thank You!
~ Dawn

[Charles Boyd]

For Ann

Dear Annie as Carl would have said your name! I think Carl was really great! I always laughed at his sense of humor. He was great on Johnny Carsons show.I just loved his voice. He had such great passion in it! He had enthusiasm in regards to science. I loved the Cosmos series. I have read most of his books. I am thankful for his intelligence. He could really explain things well. I think the world is a better place because of him. I hate to say it but we still need him around! I think your efforts to promote science are important to say the least. Carl would be extremely happy , Annie. I wished I could get my hands on all of his recorded audio lectures. I would have loved to have been one of his students. I guess in a way I was! I like the way you and Carl think. I think you two were a great pair! I got to ask Carl a few questions on the Prodigy internet server. I framed his comments to me with his photograph. I wish I could hug you for Carl! You take care of yourself! Keep up your great work! I enjoy you too Annie, Love to you and Carl, Charlie Boyd

[Henry]

Thank you for the gift of expanding our knowledge, not only of ourselves, but for what may lie ahead.